Steph's Pics: 2009

Wow, time is flying. I've been watching the months pass but I haven't actually realized what little time i have left here in the Quad Cities. I'm finally getting comfortable with the area, getting to know people, making contacts, and really learning about this unique place. I guess you can say it takes me a while to really figure an area out and I feel like I haven't even come close yet. I suppose I move slow. I'm just starting to come up with story, essay, and feature story ideas that I'm now super excited to pursue on my own and for work. My mind is swarming with multimedia ideas and interactive ideas and so much we could do online! oi! I really don't feel like I've even done enough yet photographically.

Back to school signs are everywhere and this will be the first time... in about 18 years that I will not be in a classroom in the upcoming weeks. It's a bit scary, but a nice feeling. The only thing I'll miss is the back to school shopping (a.k.a mom and dad buying me new clothes because I "need" them! damn growing up sucks! )--joking by the way.

I'm ready to be located in a place for more than just a few months or one or two years. I really want to get to know a community and push myself photographically. Stories can be told anywhere and I want to tell them here. It's going to be weird not generating stories for class and not having someone always looking over my shoulder telling me I could do much much better. It's actually going to be... nice! Wow what a relief now that I think about it... The only pressure I have is my own (which pretty much tops them all and we all know how hard I can be on myself, but....... chipping away chipping away). I know I'll never stop pushing myself (or thinking way too hard) and I think I can grow more now and really tighten my craft rather than worrying about a silly grade. It's nice to collaborate and be taken seriously rather than being compared to everything that I'm not, and don't really care to be.

The best things that have happened to me, since I've been here, are seeing people in the community that stop me, recognize me and then thank me for photographing their kid or parents or dog or whatever. They thank me for making a nice photo or thank me for telling their story. It is one of the most amazing feelings in the world. One women gives me a big hug every time she sees me, it's the greatest. I made a portrait of her elderly father one of the first weeks I was here and I've see her about 3 times all over illinois. Oh man, I can't even describe it, it's so cool. That's what this is all about, the community. People seem to remember you around here too and that's another reason why I enjoy this area. AND everyone says hello. ( I feel this is the moment where the Cheers theme song slowly fades up... where's my beer!)

Another great thing that has happened are the conversations I've had with people. People here love to talk, and just invite you into their lives. On my days off, I've been exploring different areas and businesses. Not photographing, just getting familiar. I've met the most wonderful people and have had extended conversations with them. It's amazing! I love stories.

Yes, I miss my mom and dad. Yes, I miss my friends. I miss them all terribly. It can be incredibly lonely moving to a place where there is not one familiar soul around. However, there is no better way to learn about yourself and become the person you were meant to be. Here, I have no baggage, no heartbreak, no past... I'm just plain old me! And it feels so good. (whoa i sound like i'm an ex con or something no no no I hope you all understand what I mean by that last line.) I have permanent laugh lines. I'm even happy when I'm miserable. I don't have to worry about anything other than doing a damn good job at work... and maybe paying my bills... and sleeping.. and showering... and eating... AH you get it!

My newsroom is awesome. Yeah sure they think I'm nuts, but the photo department has seriously become my family. I've never felt so at home in one room than with those guys. And, even though I'm the only girl in the bachelor pad, they are incredibly understanding if I shed a tear of frustration (not that I do that, but they let me be hormonal). We all help each other; we all have a great time together. I admire them all as photographers but more importantly as outstanding people. I really look up to all of them. There more times in the photo room or with co-workers where I have laughed so hard I've cried...Great memories. And its only been 2 1/2 months!

There is so much more I could write. So many feelings. All I know is I need more here time and I'm not ready to leave! It's going to be like a bad break up when October comes haha! No joke! We shall see where I end up, but wherever I do... I hope it's for a little while. I'm tired of moving. NOT tired of traveling.. just tired of packing up my life and drifting away from everything I hold close.

Oh.. and it's pronounced IlliNOISE not Illinois. :-)