A Bouqet of History

Blossoms at Butterworth

More from Trek Fest!

trek fest - Images by Stephanie Makosky

Trek Fest 2009

One More From The Show

Loving Baseball

Obviously, it's not always magic. I wasn't in the right place for the last photograph and someone decided to walk by as soon it was happening. It was my 'doh' moment of the night.... However, when an umpire dances with a giant bird, it makes everything all better.

Air Show

I had a great day yesterday photographing the Blue Angels at an air show. wooo It was too awesome.

Poynter Institute

And awesome article by Joe Grimm about what he saw during the Poynter Fellowship for Young Journalists. 

Check it out HERE

After reading it all I could think was... "yeah that's right!" and then I felt a bit sad because it was such an amazing experience and we all got close so fast. It ended too soon and I really miss everyone there. I think I got a little attached. haha. 

061309

It's been a long day.

Today I photographed a military funeral. And today was one of those days where I wondered, am I cut out for this? I didn't want to be there, but I knew I had to be. No, not because it was my assignment, but because this is a man who fought and died for our country and who deserves a whole lot more than a fancy burial. What else is there to do though? The only way I can pay my homage to document a major part of our history as respectfully and carefully as possible. It's important, the family understood it's importance too, and allowed media to be there. I still didn't want to be there however. Of coarse, no one really wants to be there. 

Yet, out of my own selfish reasons, I think my issue with photographing a military funeral stems from my personal ties. Historically and visually, photographers have made stunning images of these tragic events. I have absolutely no problem with it. If the family allows us to be there, then we should be. It is our duty just like the honor guard's. I just take issue with myself being there. Why? 

...As I paced back and forth for over an hour and a half in a near panic attack, trying to find my inner composure, waiting for the one whole minute I have to make a photograph of a casket coming out of a church, into a hurst, and people being emotional, I just wanted to scream.. I know, if I just remove myself from it all, I can do it. But I can't. I just want to run. I just want to hug someone. I just want to pretend like it's not there.  It's one day where I don't know if I'd mind too much photographing kittens and babies (haha yeah right).  

All I can think about is for 18 months, this very event that I am witnessing and being the eyes of a community to, was my world's greatest fear. For 18 months, my life was ruled by waiting by a phone to hear a distant yet familiar voice. For 18 months, I was terrified if I answered that unknown number it would be someone else's voice with news that I dreaded more than anything in the world. But, if I didn't pick up the phone or accidently forgot to keep the phone in close range and missed that call, I would be near hysterics for hours because I wouldn't know when I would be able to hear that voice again, if ever. I couldn't watch the news or any military related commercials. For 18 months, I despised that person for putting me through such hell. And yet, loved so deeply, I was way too young to ever understand. For 18 months, everyone thought I was fine and couldn't believe I was able to "handle" myself so well, because they wouldn't be able to. "How do you do it?" I was asked on a weekly basis. "I don't" I would say and change the subject.  I just always kept in mind that whatever I was going through, the person I was waiting for had it a hell of a lot worse, that's what kept me going. 

Every person that has someone dear that is deployed, goes through some kid of internal war in their own way. Some end up lucky, others have to go through what the Duffy family is going through right now. I don't want to make a mockery of anyone's pain and I fear that. I don't understand their loss, everyone deals with that differently. I don't want to understand, because I don't ever want to go through it. But it is important. It's important to be there. 

That was several years ago for me. As for my fait, we were lucky and mostly everyone came home safe. As for our relationship, that hit full bloom way too fast and wilted away before I even got my first grey hair. I'm still proud of every decision I ever made and don't regret a thing. It's part of my story... which has a lot of chapters in 24 years. I still hold those chapters very dearly, more so than I'd actually like to let on. Phew, okay moving on. 

So am I cut out for this job? Hell yes. Those experiences are yet another reason why I am a visual story teller. Sometimes we just have to do things that make us uncomfortable. Will I ever get numb to military funerals? No. Probably not.  I think it's just one of those things that you can't shake off no matter how hard you try. i don't really want to grow numb to it either. It's embedded in me. Holy crap, I am human! 

what a mess.

I'm in the process of redesigning my blog. Sorry if it all looks messy!

I'm losing my mind!

First week. OVER

I've already been in Moline one week. I can't even believe it!!! It's been a great first week at the paper. 

Aldeo-

Check out the new Moline photography staff blog HERE 

and my rhubarb multimedia HERE 

Forgot about this one.

My Space

:-)

060309

Today I had the honor of driving out to Aledo and photographing Mr. McClure who is 97 and a fantastic father finalist for the fantastic father father's day contest. :)
He had some amazing stories and I wish I had more time to just sit and listen to them.

On the way back to the paper the light was nice so I pulled over and decided to make some photographs.. of the pole lines and myself.




Today was pretty exciting. I got to photograph kids camping out in front of a buffalo wild wings until June 8, my first officially official spot news (thank you Todd for coming along for moral support and coaching, I may have looked and acted composed but my heart was in my throat), and my father's day portrait.
Tomorrow is another new adventure. OH! and I got my own desk space in the newsroom. It was like christmas morning walking in and seeing my little nook. The bachelor pad/ photo room is now 1/5 girlie. More tomorrow.

Oh Moline

On my way to pick up some dinner before heading back to the paper. I thought I would make some photos of my funny little city. I love this place. 

4AM portraits

4AM portraits - Images by Stephanie Makosky

I don't know how to get my copyright off.... 

Odds and ends during Poynter

Detroit Airport... My Favorite airport!

Late night in St. Pete, the one night where there wasn't anyone sleeping on the street.

These little things were everywhere!

Bishops

Sean trying to clear a bench.

Aaron back at the Marriot. 

See more HERE! 

Moving to MOLINE

My car died... I left way too late at night to be able to drive through the night after flying in from St. Pete... I didn't sleep much during Poynter... and I just didn't want to leave home. It took me a grand total of 22 hours to final get my behind to Moline Illinois to start my four month internship at the Dispatch and Rock Island Argus.  That's mom and dad before I left. 

Currently, I'm in day two and... I love it! It's great, I really love community journalism. Illinois is a very interesting place to me. I had an assignment today that was about an hour out. I drove through some serious country roads and couldn't help but listen to some Canned Heat. I saw a turkey, and a pheasant, and a horse... and it rained a lot. It's incredibly beautiful here though. I'm starting my search for a long term story to work on too. 

I haven't had much time to unpack yet, let alone think. However, on my 22 hour drive to the midwest I thought about what kind of a journalist I am (Poynter has me beyond motivated). For lack of a better word, I would like to say that I am a "sensual" journalist, and if that didn't sound so dirty I would roll with it. But in my story telling and journalism I would like to cover an almost full palette (it would be kind of hard to cover taste) of senses. I really like just using audio to tell a story, even though I am a visual person. The idea of trying to describe a scene and trying to make the listener feel like her or she is right there really attracts me. They can use their own minds to imagine the situation being described.  I love making photographs that leave the viewer with more questions than answers or one single image that tells a story of its own. I really love producing a sense or feeling and want to use whatever is at my fingertips to do so. It's all truth, I just want people to enjoy the journey. 

more to come later.